writeforyourlife.blogg.se

att kliva upp

Kategori: Allmänt

när alla vill förvandlas till måsten
och bara känns som tvång
en munkavel
ett strypgrepp
ett pekfinger mitt i ansiktet
 
idag är en sån dag där steget från sängen till golvet känns lite som att tappa fotfästet med bakbundna händer och landa rakt på ansiktet. svårt. men framförallt, jävligt jobbigt.
 

questions

Kategori: Allmänt

how can people not believe that i, as a woman, should not have equal rights as a man? 
how can people not believe that i, as a woman, am just as much worth as a man?
how can people not believe that i, as a woman, have the right to choose over my own body just as a man? 
 with these questions asked;
how can people ask me why i feel like i'm not worthy of this life or this body or even to be a part of this world? 
 
conclusion;
it's no wonder i can't believe in my own worth when the whole world is telling me i have none.
 

the badtub

Kategori: Allmänt

whenever i feel
like i'm feeling too much
i go take a bath
it's the only place where i can go
and listen to my heart 
hear it racing against itself
trying to beat its way to the finish line
and i try to tell it
"you are all winners"
 
every single heartbeat, is a winner. 
 

lost and found

Kategori: Allmänt

you can find me
in the lost and found box
i'll be pressed between 
all the left-over tears 
and a plastic flower
that was too hard to take care of.
 

reflection

Kategori: Allmänt

sometimes,
when i look myself in the mirror,
and i am meet by a pair of blue eyes,
that remind me of the ocean,
i can see the waves slowly crashing 
upon my hurtfully smiling cheeks,
they are stretched so high up,
i wonder to myself,
which gods i am trying to impress,
 
it takes so much muscle to smile,
it takes so much strength to live,
so when i look myself in the mirror,
i remind myself,
i am still here,
 
i am still here.
 
 

tick tick thump thump

Kategori: Allmänt

den enda gången tiden någonsin står stilla
är den där sekunden när du
doppar huvudet i badkaret
och hör dina egna hjärtslag
tydligast i världen.
 
(men även när du kysser mig)
 
 

pixie dust

Kategori: Allmänt

när ens inre eld
slocknar
förvandlas till aska
på vägen upp till munnen
kvar finns bara orden
 
 
som blev till stoft. 
 
 

show off those shiny white pearls

Kategori: Allmänt

som att ramla och slå i framtänderna
i trottoarkanten
precis som scenen man alltid vill men aldrig blundar för i american history x
 
man lyckas ändå le genom blodet.
 
 

i can feel your pulse

Kategori: Allmänt

jag har fått lära mig hur man tar pulsen på någon
det har jag till och med ett certifikat på
hur man kontrollerar ett hjärtslag
med endast mina fingrar

spineless

Kategori: Allmänt

For over a week now, my spine has been kicking the crap out of me. I am in constant pain. I don’t know if it’s trying to tell me one of two things. Either that I am spineless or that I should stand up tall. I’m still trying to figure that one out.

pointless

Kategori: Allmänt

när allt bara känns overkligt, hopplöst och en aning meningslöst - vad gör man då? 
 
 

it will be worth the wait

Kategori: Allmänt

it was a while ago that i let my mind run free and my fingers were inspired enough to write something of the more poetic style. but soon my friends, soon.

i could

Kategori: Allmänt

I lie tracing the outlines of his face all night
Memorizing all the rough edges
For future reference
So that I never have to go one day without remembering it
His cheekbones look like they have been chiseled out of marble
Like valleys leading outwards
Pathways to map out
And sometimes
I get lost somewhere in-between his collarbones and his bellybutton
I could build myself a house there

In the middle of the night
I will awake to the sound of him snapping his jaws shut
Trying to pulverize all his pent-up angst between his teeth
Grinding them together so hard
That every morning
He wakes up with a mouth full of pixie dust and bone residue
I breathe in his morning breathe
And fill my lungs with his exhale
While he inhales all of my existence
He wears the morning so beautifully
Like a painting reflecting sunlight straight into my line of fire
Unfiltered
Unnerving
And this is the first time in my life that I have hope for a better tomorrow
I could do this for the rest of my life

I love the way he wakes up in the morning
One lazy eye at a time
As if taking me in all at once is too hard
I will find skin particles underneath my fingernails
From clawing my way inside all of his road blocks
Trying to reach his safe housed heart
I will plant at least one thousand kisses on his chest plate before we have to start this new day
His skin tastes of sweat, salt and secrets
And I may not be religious
But every time I rest my head upon his temples
I keep imagining
That if they were real temples
Then that would be the place that I would go to pray
Rest upon my kneecaps
With my eyes closed and my ears open
I usually can’t do all my senses at once

When I write
He will sing to me
Fill my ears with music, beautiful words and hope
And sometime
I will throw him a sideway smile
Only to catch him giving births to smiles himself and making them grow
Upward
Outward
Beyond
And I love the way
He shuts his left eye when he hits the high notes
Or the way he forces his eyelids to acknowledge gravity when he sings a line I know has meaning to it
I can pinpoint them all
I know all his tells
I could get used to this

And I love hearing all of his histories
About the way his feet too often left the ground
But too often got trapped by the ceiling
He is a tainted spirit with a heavy heart
That he still brings to bed with him
Lays it at the end of the bed
Like a domesticated dog
And I want nothing more than to tame it
As my own
I want to pinky swear
Thumb war
Ring finger promise
And happily ever after with him
Grow wrinkles and laughter lines filled with stories of good times
And every time I gather air
Bracing for my heart to implode
A minor earthquake making its way from my lungs to my windpipe to my open mouth to my waiting hands
He will repeat the words
“Bless your humble heart”
And bless your humble heart my dear
For there is a storm inside of me
And you
You are the calm to all of it.

sentences i don't want to forget

Kategori: Allmänt

the night you looked into my eyes, at least i think you did since it was dark and i could barely see past my own nose, and you told me that you might not believe in fate but you did believe that big bang exploded the first time we kissed. 
 

confessions

Kategori: Allmänt

confession number 5:
 
i am afraid of drowning but sometimes i still have to hold my breath, pinch my nose, put my head under water just to hear the sound of my own heart beating away fiercly - as a reminder that i am still alive. i am still alive.